I miss my dad today
I miss my dad today…………I haven’t felt this for a very long long time. You know the kind of emotions and sentiments that happens deep inside of you, which you are not in control of……………………….
So many stuffs are all in a volcanic outburst right now.
Maybe it’s the alcohol, or the suppression of my feelings and emotions.
Is it the weather or some chemical LOCHA in my body?
Have you ever been in a mood to drink? I mean the thirst for the alcohol.
Well what I am saying is sometimes, your body temperament is in such a state that you thirst for drink, and your usual drink quota doesn’t fulfill that thirst.
For instance I usually drink 3 pecks of whisky. It’s not that I drink daily; it’s sometimes when with good friends. Today I was in a mood for drinking and was with some good friends. So 3 of us had ½ bottle of whisky and 2 shots of tequila. Now after 1 hour of that, I am still drinking Beer and still feel so fresh. And sometimes with just 2 pecks of whisky I am knocked out.
Is it the weather or some chemical LOCHA in my body?
I guess the thirst will remain there unless I drink excessively. So this will be my last drink and I’ll go off to bed.
Music influence
I don’t know if you feel the same way or not. For me music really plays a big role. Sometimes its cure for my anger, depression and inferior complexity. And sometimes it’s just the opposite, it makes me more weak.
I would define my life as not easy. Nothing in my life has become easy. The achievement are very less comparing to the failures i’ve been through. So recently, the kind of music which really inspired me at some point of my life has become more depressing and torturing. For example; Norah Jones, Cold Play etc……. has always been my favorites. Now when i listen to them i feel more depressed and it makes me feel looser and unwanted.
I know it’s just the state of mind. The negetive vibes that i have within me, that is making me think like that. I don’t want ‘em in my life right now, when i have to prove i am somebody and gain some respect for myself. I know i’ll come over it and will love those music again and will have the positive vibes again. But how soon is the question and i don’t have the answer to it. Till then i’m happy listening to hard, heavy and metal music. Besides i love to listen all kinds of music.
Girl in Curls
I am obsessed with girl who has curly hairs. While driving I tend to look back at those who have curls. 
I have this particular picture in my mind which I look forward to see in them. But it’s not happening and I know it will not happen. The more it doesn’t happen the more i crave for it.
I don’t know for how long I will be obsessed with it. But it is fun. At least I get to see a lot of them.
You gotta do what you gotta do
I am hiding behind the mask, ignoring (Ignorance is a bliss) everything that makes me weak mentally, that stops me from doing the things that I wanted to do. I mean no harm and disturbance in other’s life. Those that could see through it, I wish them all the best things and happiness of life. Those that couldn’t, I wish them the same too. Even if I tried to explain them the details, it would not make any difference to their lives.
You gotta do what you gotta do.
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Life is mean and complicated.
Life is mean and complicated. People tend to forget the best moments of their lives. You get so occupied with your life and the struggles and the competition for the survival. Then one day, you lie down on your bed and calculate the balance sheet of your life. You might have all the financial comforts but still you are not satisfied. The craving and the hunger is still there. But the only thing is, you don’t realize the craving and the hunger is not for financial anymore. It has become more spiritual and emotional. You become afraid and lonely and it’s too late for you to make the changes.
CourtYard
One of my favorite restaurant.
Have spent my best moments there and which are just a memory now. 
A good memory indeed.
“Good Moments Of Today Are Good Memories Of Tomorrow.”
Sleep
Finally after 4 days i hope i’ll be able to sleep properly. Cause have alcohol running in my blood and feeling tired too.
